Like any other woman who is considering making the first move and hoping the object of her potential affection is straight and available, I run through the regular self doubt questions. What if he does not find me pretty? Am I thin enough? What if I come on too strong?
But the reigning, ultimate question that always comes up in my mind is, “Does he date black girls?”
Sure he might find Halle Berry hot, and let’s face it, who doesn’t. Maybe he sits up a little straighter when Zoe Saldana appears on the screen during a Star Trek film. And he might even enjoy watching Beyoncé gyrate, shake, and shimmy. But all of that is no guarantee that he actually dates black girls.
You would think I ask myself this question only when it pertains to non-black men. Not true. There are plenty of black men out there who, for whatever reason they feel is justifiable, do not date black women – at all. So, I am still left wondering, if the person I am about to approach would even consider me in a romantic light.
I’ve found it is not just me who asks this question. The conversations I have had with my girlfriends that are East Asian, Latina, and South Asian have confirmed that when attracted to a man of a different race than our own, we all ask ourselves, “Does he date women of my race?”
The phrase ‘post racial society’ gets tossed around frivolously and while colour blindness would be the ideal it is not a reality. Many women of colour will tell you stories of how they have been interested in someone only to find out that he had a limited approach to dating and they were never even going to be in the running let alone considered.
Aha! I understand where Sam, the writer, is coming from. Even in this day and age, we girls are still left to wonder if the colour of our skin or the width of our hips would be the limiting factor to the “One true Love.”
I know that I have been attracted to men of all colour over the years. I have always believed that if you can have the candy shop why stop at buying just one pack of chocolates?