At the Crossroads

Recently, my entire department have been “let go” at work and within 3 weeks I will find myself with no job. This is not a state of affairs I am used to. I have been working ever since I was done with my A’levels. My exams finished on a Friday and by Monday I was working as a Customer Service officer at a Private Hospital. During my University years, I had interned in an events company, also a social enterprise, as a Creative working mainly on conceptualisation of event ideas and I worked in a Branding firm with the Consulting team. Other holidays were spent planning events for my Neighbourhood residents.

I am one of those people who have to be constantly working on projects. Always on the move, thinking ‘Ok what next world?’

I have never really taken a break or gap year and the truth is I don’t know what to do with myself now that I will be having this time off.

I have already started on 2 projects!

  1. Online cake/cupcakes shop with my sister. At first I was targeting friends and family when I realised it would be better to sell them to companies who are organising Tea in their office.
  2. Events for Singles. The first event is a wine tasting/dinner to be held for those in their 20’s.

I am at a crossroads because the world is my oyster now. There are so many directions that I could take and this is confusing me.

Do I take on full time job with some company but one in which I won’t be too happy? I have a biomed degree which my parents insist I use by joining the Medical industry, but I know I would do better in the Creative side.

So these are my options at the moment:

  1. Do a full time diploma in design/marketing/advertising and only work from end of next year. This would mean my entire savings would get used up
  2. Find internship with companies I am dying to work for ; Harper’s Bazaar, Cleo, Elle and I would die if I get to work in Vogue  + do courses to close my skills gap
  3. I want to teach english in France next year!

The reason I have been so afraid to apply for internship is because I am afraid I am not good enough. But if I don’t try I will never know.

Sometimes I think I submerged myself with work because in my personal life I was alone. Usually I am comfortable hanging out with myself but last night I was overcome with how little I have. People grow and change and suddenly, everyone that you once cherished in your life feels so distant and cold.

Also I have been stress eating. Urgh.

This post makes me cringe, but I suppose I needed a platform to write it all out. I usually make decisions better after I see it in words.

I wonder what others do when they have to make life changing decisions?

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