7 reasons why I am letting you go


  1. When our legs touch under the table, I lose my train of thought.
  2. Sometimes you get this look on your face, and I know it isn’t hate. I want to climb inside your mind and figure out what you are thinking. But I can’t, and I dare not hope.
  3. I want to walk over to where you sit, hug you from behind and whisper into your ear “how ya doing?”
  4. When you go out with other people, I try to be really encouraging, “Go get them tiger!” but there is a part of me, the part that I am ashamed of, who is hoping you don’t have a good time. You said the next day, you never wanted to see her again, and I danced an entire sequence in my head.
  5. You are so different from the rest. I never thought you would be the kind of person I could develop feelings for. I didn’t think I was capable of such feelings either. But you grew on me; what I hated the most about you the most, over time, I saw as your virtues. You were changing too. You were no longer the boring boor with a stick up your arse! You were becoming this fascinating creature that continued to surprise me with your subtle wit and outrageous humor. Suddenly you were no longer grubby and grey, I saw light when I looked at you. And you were beautiful.
  6. I never understood when people said, “If you love someone, let them go.” I used to feel scorn towards those who felt this way. If you loved something wouldn’t you tie them up to your side, and never let them leave? But I get it now. You deserve someone better; someone who can shower you with affection and admiration, someone who will realise what a treasure you are and someone braver than I can ever be and actually tell you how much they love you.
  7. I have envisioned the various scenarios that could happen if I told you how I felt. Most involves you giving me a pitying look and saying “I like you as friend.” On days when I am kinder to myself, I imagine you saying “me too.” I am too afraid to lose you either way. I convince myself that I am happy just being your friend; the Barney to your Ted, the Jughead to your Archie. It shouldn’t have to be this hard.

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