“I Don’t Mean to Baffle You, But I Do: Queerplatonic Partnerships”

“There’s a tendency to value romantic and sexual relationships over other types of relationships, where friendship and queerplatonic connections are considered the training wheels for the real relationship, and where it’s assumed that nonsexual partners always take a back seat to other kinds of relationships. And don’t enjoy a connection with the same emotional depth as a sexual relationship. We are, after all, just the second fiddles, the entertainment while the primary partner is away.

The devaluation of these kinds of connections means that many people are also deeply confused by them, especially when they encounter queerplatonic partners in person. And I do say partner, and sometimes refer to the unit formed by a partner and myself as a couple, because we are. We function like a couple, we do things together, we are intimate with each other, though not necessarily in the way people expect. We are a couple. (…)

We baffle and confuse people. They don’t understand how two people who appear on the surface to be a romantic couple are not, and all the attempts in the world to disentangle their assumptions usually end up just more snarled and snagged, because of the deeply rooted social attitudes about relationships and friendships and everything between. The very concept of a queerplatonic relationship is beyond the ken for most people; even if it’s thumbnail defined as an intense friendship, though this is not really accurate, people still don’t get it. They can’t fathom the idea that people can enjoy intimate relationships that are not intimate in the sexual sense.”

—  “I Don’t Mean to Baffle You, But I Do: Queerplatonic Partnerships”

via (3) Tumblr.


Writings For Winter – For Twenty Year-Olds who have never been loved

All of a sudden two decades have passed and you still have not kissed anyone with tongue, or kissed anyone at all for that matter, or had a 3 AM conversation with someone who would rather look into your eyes for ten minutes straight than talk. You have never worn a lover’s sweater or “forgotten” it at home in your bedroom just so you would have an excuse to see them again. You have never even stood face-to-face with someone who makes your hands shake so hard it feels like they’re both having a separate anxiety attack.

This causes you much guilt and self-blame and sadness but above all, an overwhelming curiosity. Are you really that ugly, that unwanted, that uninteresting, that boring, that no one, absolutely no one, has ever looked at you like the only thing on earth?

The answer is no. The better answer is that someone out there, somewhere in the world, is “wondering what it’s like to meet someone like you,” and they have two decades worth of love stored in their veins like a shoot-‘em-up drug, and they’re just about ready to inject it into someone else’s bloodstream. All you have to do is roll up your sleeves and wait for it to happen.

At times you felt so lonely you could stand at the edge of a cliff with nothing beneath you but air and grass and a long, long way down, and you’d still feel emptier than that canyon itself. Maybe you even danced with yourself alone in your room a few times, arms outstretched around a ghost, pretending someone else’s hands were on your waist, someone else’s eyes boring into yours.

Or maybe you fell temporarily in love with strangers on public transportation, fell in love with anybody who so much as accidentally brushed your hand on the way past. For you, falling in love with dozens of people a day was a coping mechanism for not having anyone to love you in return. But people are not eggs and falling in love with a dozen of them does not mean your shell will remain uncracked. One day you’re going to hit the point where you’re so desperate for human contact that you’re going to snap in half and all your love will bleed out like egg yolk.

But someone out there is eating a bowl of Ramen noodles right now, or putting on slippers, or settling into bed. They are doing all the normal things that you’ve done in your own life. They are just like you. They have cellulite and extra fat in all the wrong places and goals and fears and doubts and bad handwriting.

The truth is that they are just like you, and being just like you, they’re looking for a lover too. They’re what you might call a soulmate.

They think they’re all alone in feeling the way they do, but you’re really both two halves of a whole.

And one day you’ll meet them, bump into them on the street, and your two halves will be put together, and you’ll make one.

I screwed up

I screwed up at work and that feeling sucks. I forgot to check one thing because I assumed it had been done by someone else…and lost data in the process. 

Making assumptions has always been getting me into trouble, and I should have known better by now. 

Well, there is no point crying over split milk. Time to think of how this situation can be salvaged. 


A woman of war by Mehreen Kasana

“As women, when we’re children we’re taught to enter the world with big hearts. Blooming hearts. Hearts bigger than our damn fists. We are taught to forgive – constantly – as opposed to what young boys are taught: Revenge, to get ‘even.’ Our empathy is constantly made appeals to, often demanded for. If we refuse to show kindness, we are reprimanded. We are not good women if we do not crush our bones to make more space for the world, if we do not spread our entire skin over rocks for others to tread on, if we do not kill ourselves in every meaning of the word in the process of making it cozy for everyone else. It is the heat generated by the burning of our bodies with which the world keeps warm. We are taught to sacrifice so much for so little. This is the general principle all over the world.

By the time we are young women, we are tired. Most of us are drained. Some of us enter a lock of silence because of that lethargy. Some of us lash out. When I think of that big, blooming heart we once had, it looks shriveled and worn out now. When I was teaching, I had a young student named Mariam. She was only 11 years old. Some boy pushed her around in class, called her names, broke her spirit for the day. We were sitting under a chestnut tree on a field trip and she asked me if a boy ever hurt me. I told her many did and I destroyed them one by one. I think that’s the first time she ever heard the word ‘destroyed.’ We rarely teach our girls to fight back for the right reasons.

Take up more space as a woman. Take up more time. Take your time. You are taught to hide, censor, move about without messing up decorum for a man’s comfort. Whether it’s said or not, you’re taught balance. Forget that. Displease. Disappoint. Destroy. Be loud, be righteous, be messy. Mess up and it’s fine – you are learning to unlearn. Do not see yourself like glass. Like you could get dirty and clean. You are flesh. You are not constant. You change. Society teaches women to maintain balance and that robs us of our volatility. Our mercurial hearts. Calm and chaos. Love only when needed; preserve otherwise.

Do not be a moth near the light; be the light itself. Do not let a man’s ocean-big ego swallow you up. Know what you want. Ask yourself first. Decide your own pace. Decide your own path. Be cruel when needed. Be gentle only when needed. Collapse and then re-construct. When someone says you are being obscene, say yes I am. When they say you are being wrong, say yes I am. When they say you are being selfish, say yes I am. Why shouldn’t I be? How do you expect a woman to stand on her two feet if you keep striking her at the ankles.

There are multiple lessons we must teach our young girls so that they render themselves their own pillars instead of keeping male approval as the focal point of their lives. It is so important to state your feelings of inconvenience as a woman. We are instructed to tailor ourselves and our discomfort – constantly told that we are ‘whining’ and ‘nagging’ and ‘complaining too much.’ That kind of silence is horribly violent, that kind of insistence upon uniformly nodding in agreement to your own despair, and smiling emptily so no man is ever uncomfortable around us. Male-entitlement dictates a woman’s silence. If we could see the mimetic model of the erasure of a woman’s voice, it would be an incredibly bloody sight.

On a breezy July night, my mother and I were sleeping under the open sky. Before dozing off, I told her that I think there is a special place in heaven where all wounded women bury their broken hearts and their hearts grow into trees that only give fruit to the good and poison to the bad. She smiled and said Ameen. Then she closed her eyes.”

—  A Woman of War by Mehreen Kasana

via (6) Tumblr.

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The Lolita Burger


Is this heaven? #burgerporn

Originally posted on PornBurger:

At first glance, it’s easy to assume this barely legal (sorry California) slider seduction, is just another hot piece of PB&J… Well let’s just say the devil’s in the details. This petite package is comprised of potato chip encrusted, foie gras pâte à choux, a sultry sweet onion jam, bacon peanut butter, pan seared foie gras, and a grass-fed beef patty. Foie real you ask? Foie 100% serious.

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I am lonely. And it’s ok.

I keep myself busy during the day; bury myself in my work, then work on extra projects just for fun. There really is no time to think about anything else. Or rather the lack of anything in my life.

At the end of the day, as I get ready to go to bed and there is silence ringing throughout my room that is when I am gripped by loneliness. I would wish for a warm body to hold me tight during my nightmares instead of my lifeless pillows that I keep beside me. There is no one to share my day with, not the highlights or the lowlights.

I used to just call and talk to my friends but a part of me feels clingy for having this need to reach out to someone else. To need someone to laugh along with me or just to be there while I am going through a bad time.

The truth is there is still a part of me that feels ashamed of myself for feeling this way. I am trying to come to terms with the fact that we all need people in our lives, that we are social creatures and it’s okay to feel needy and needed by others. In fact one of my best friends once remarked that the reason our lives had become so entwined with one another was the fact that he was more needier than me and I loved that I was so needed by him. Because he was needier than me, I was less guarded and I could show him exactly how much I needed him in my life without having to constantly apologise for wanting to share everything with him.

When we were first beginning to know one another, I felt that we were getting too close too fast and we needed to spend less time together. On a whim I decided that we would spend a week without contact. He looked at me in bemusement and told me fondly, “you do realise thats the stupidest thing you have said?”

He walked away from me after class and a part of me was disappointed that he hadn’t even fought back to stick around. There I was sitting in the canteen trying to understand the latest lecture notes, and he comes striding towards me, flops down on the chair opposite mine, covers my notes and says,” ok, you have had your separation. Two hours. Thats enough. This is stupid. I miss you. You miss me. Why do you bother trying to hide what you feel? You should never feel ashamed of how you feel! Don’t be afraid to love as much as you can. That’s your right and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.”

What he said then (6 years ago) has made an impact on me. So while I try to love freely without restraint, most people in society don’t; I always feel unequal in most relationships I establish. I am not too sure how to explain what I feel inside when I am with some of my friends with whom I feel unequal in terms of how we feel about one another.

I feel as though the more I try to be friendly, the more distant I feel from them on the inside. They slip further away from me and I seize on nothing and they are just not there anymore. No texts. No calls. No meetups. They are just gone. And all I have left are movie stubs, and wisps of blurry memories of the times we spent together.

And when I go to bed at night, a never ending void.

Its ok. I can live with this.

This is why my radio is never off.

Forge yourself.

“You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself: it’s also the flinch. Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You think you have a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy.

You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s not ingrained. It’s not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like.

If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way.

Set fire to your old self. It’s not needed here. It’s too busy shopping, gossiping about others, and watching days go by and asking why you haven’t gotten as far as you’d like. This old self will die and be forgotten by all but family, and replaced by someone who makes a difference.

Your new self is not like that. Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary. ”

—  Julien Smith

(via uuww)

via (10) Tumblr.

self happiness

10 steps to happiness.

1. Surround yourself with positive people. 

The best thing I could have ever done for myself was to surround myself with people who were more talented, more grounded, more happy than me. Sometimes when you feel like all hope is lost, these are the people who will stand by your side, and lend you a hand to help you pull yourself together again. If someone is poisonous to your growth, get rid of them immediately. You will be surprised with the lightness you find inside of yourself, each time you cut off an obnoxious soul-sucking vampire of a weed from your life.

2. Laugh more. 

There will be days at a stretch when you can barely get dressed and face life. Try to smile anyway.

At first this will be hard. I used to look like I was either in pain or feeling constipated every time I tried to make my mouth form a smile. But eventually, it became easier to smile and there were times I would have a full out throttle. Laughter lights up your soul. It lifts your spirits and releases happy hormones into your body. Its win-win situation, really.

3. Appreciate life. 

Look up at the clouds and figure what shapes they form. Look at the tiles on the floor of your toilet/room/hall and do you see the images in them? When was the last time you played out in the rain? Feel the air blow out of your lungs as you went on a sprint? Told someone how much you loved them? Hugged someone? You are alive. Revel in that fact. You are here and the world is passing you by, nothing will ever be the same again. Look around you and remember. Be thankful.

4. Make wishes on the first star you see. 

Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. Wish I may, wish I might, have the wish, I wish tonight.

I never stopped making wishes on the first star I spotted at night. For a few seconds, your entire being is focused on thinking about what it is that matters the most to you at that moment. Ask the universe for what you need, and you will get it in some form because now you have set the wheels in motion towards getting whatever it is that you wished for. Because you are now aware that this is something you really want, you subconsciously start doing things that puts you in the path towards achieving this dream.

5. Learn to let go of your anger.

Anger and hate used to burn me up from the inside. It was anger that propelled me to do many things; it fueled my competitive streak. But it also left me feeling empty after I was done feeling angry. Words were poison on my tongue.

Learning to control my temper was perhaps one of the best things I could have done for myself. I still get angry but I no longer use it as an excuse to hurt someone else. I am still competitive but it is now fueled by my desire to simply give my best at whatever I do. Everytime I feel myself getting angry, I assess the situation; if I can walk away from the situation to allow myself to calm down before I address the issue that triggered my anger, I walk away. If I can’t walk away, I just focus on my breathing and keep reminding myself to remain neutral.

6. Be your own savior.

Many times we try to find our strength in an external source, be it a friend or religion. Save yourself. Know that you have the strength within you to deal with whatever is being thrown your way. This means that you have acknowledge your own worth. It is so easy to believe that we are useless, not good for anything. Because acknowledging you are good for something, means having to accept responsibility for yourself and whatever you set out to do. Do not be limited by the colour of your skin, or by your social status.

We all count. We are made of stardust, you and I. Our every breath contains fragments of the universe. Learn to believe. Wear your confidence like an armour. Everytime you fall down, take a breath and rise again. Stronger. Iron gets stronger as it gets forged in the flames.

7. Be your own Cheerleader.

Love yourself. Perhaps one of the hardest lesson life will try to teach you. Your imperfections and flaws. The worst critic you will ever come across in your life is the one you find in the mirror. What you imagine others to think about you, are merely projections of your own fear. Listen to them. Find out why you feel that way.

If you constantly think you are not going to be good enough for something, instead of just giving up on it, fix it. Go pick up the skills you need to become better. Be the active agent in your life. Be your own cheerleader.

“You can do it,S!!!” is something I tell myself every morning as I get ready for the day. It perks me up and makes me believe that I can deal with whatever shit is thrown my way!

8. Listen more. 

Actively listening is very different from hearing what someone is telling you. When you are actively listening to someone, your entire being is focused on what the other person is saying. You are not distracted by anything else. When you listen actively, your entire body becomes engaged in the process, your body leans forward, you look directly into the other person’s eyes.

Listen and you get friends for life.

9. Be eternally curious.

Being curious nourishes your soul. There is so much that happens around us all the time, a hundred lifetimes will not be enough to learn everything about the world that we live in, yet alone about the universe that we inhibit.

Stay curious. Don’t be afraid to ask Why? This singular word is enough to expand your knowledge of the world around you.

Why do we believe in god? Why can’t we sneeze and breathe at the same time? Why did man want to fly? Why do we fall in love? Why aren’t shows like fashion police banned? Why can’t humans just get along instead of being dickheads? Why isn’t hogwarts real?

10. Don’t forget to play. 

We are constantly trying to grow up, be an adult. But don’t lose the essence of playfulness. Tinker around on little projects. Jump in puddles you come across after a rain. Make snow angels, chase your friends around a park. Prank your partner. Why so serious?

I was a nobody, the girl who was bullied by her peers and was only asked to join projects if they thought I could help them win by answering the questions. Books were my best friends. Heck, a teacher even coined the moniker “dirty princess” just for me when I was 11. Growing up was not a happy period in my life. By the time I was 14, I was surly and a walking dynamite ready to blow up at the slightly provocation.

It took me 9 years, but here I am, happy. Something I never thought I could be when I was growing up. I am surrounded by people who love me and whom I love in return. I am constantly being asked to join various parties or gatherings because I can be the life of the party. Who knew this could happen? Certainly not me when I was 14.Its been a long road of self-acceptance, perseverance, and learning to be appreciative of all that I have in my life.

This post is for anyone who is feeling down and the future seems dark, paved with loneliness. There is hope. Just believe in yourself. Know that you have the courage within yourself to face your worst fears, and move on from that experience. Work towards to being a better person, and before you know it, people will be telling you how awesome you are. Recently some friends even set up a FaceBook fanpage for me.

Who’s the dirty princess now?


A collection of love & life.

“Perhaps the fact
that I chased a boy
who ripped me to shreds
says a lot more
about me
than it did about him.”
— Michelle K., Lessons Learned

Be careful who you make memories with. Those things can last a lifetime.

“If time and space, as sages say,
Are things which cannot be,
The sun which does not feel decay
No greater is than we.
So why, Love, should we ever pray
To live a century?
The butterfly that lives a day
Has lived eternity.”
― T.S. Eliot

“Some people fall in love
with the idea of things
and others fall in love
with the actual things.
Falling in love with an
idea is but an illusion.
That is how I know
she is the one.
I feel her in my
bones and not
just in my head.”
— Christopher Poindexter

“You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.”
— J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

❝Have you ever been in love?  It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up a whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life… You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness… Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love. ❞
Neil Gaiman, The Sandman #65

“There is a language older by far and deeper than words. It is the language of bodies, of body on body, wind on snow, rain on trees, wave on stone. It is the language of dream, gesture, symbol, memory. We have forgotten this language. We do not even remember that it exists.”
— Derrick Jensen, from A Language Older Than Words.

“Be with someone who you don’t have to hide from, in any way. Whether it’s your morning face before you’ve put your make up on, an embarrassing story to tell about something that happened on your way home, or an ambition you’ve had since you were six… make sure you end up with someone who knows all of it and still loves you. A person you can tell your whole life to is a person worth spending a life with.”

“I would like to give you the silver
branch, the small white flower, the one
word that will protect you
from the grief at the center
of your dream, from the grief
at the center.”
— “Variation on the Word Sleep”, Margaret Atwood.

“I wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you want to do is be with someone.”
— Dan Howell

“Scare the world: Be exactly who you say you are and tell the truth.”
— The Shock of Honesty

“Stay close to anything that makes you glad you are alive.”
— Hafiz

the best relationships , the ones that last are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. you know one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. like a switch has been flicked somewhere and the person who was just a friend is suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with

“They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered.”
— F. Scott Fitzgerald

“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.”
— Henry David Thoreau

‘I don’t want to lose you.’ His voice almost a whisper. Seeing his haggard expression, she took his hand and squeezed it, then reluctantly let it go. She could feel the tears again, and she fought them back. ‘But you don’t want to keep me, either, do you?’ To that, he had no response.”
— The Rescue (Nicholas Sparks)

“But I know one thing, with all my heart, that you are gonna have everything that you are dreaming of. You’re gonna get everything you’re reaching for, honey. You are. And I want you to keep reaching. You keep going. One of these days you’re gonna surprise yourself, you’ll see. I won’t be surprised, but you will be. I know it.”
— Friday Night Lights

“There are two ways of seeing: with the body and with the soul. The body’s sight can sometimes forget, but the soul remembers forever.”
— Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

“But you see, there is
a graveyard in my mouth
filled with words that
have died on my lips.”
— Emily Palermo, from Untitled

“Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated. We can only repress them, delude ourselves, and deceive our bodies.
The body sticks to the facts.”
― Alice Miller

“Sometimes I’m terrified of my heart; of it’s constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts.”
— Edgar Allan Poe

“When I say, ‘I love you,’ it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You’re a hell of a person.”
— Joss Whedon

“I want all of us
and I am so exhausted
from all the waiting.”
— Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson

“Name ten things you wanna do before you die and then go do them. Name ten places you really wanna be before you die and then go to them. Name ten books you wanna read before you die and then go read them. Name ten songs you wanna hear again before you die, get all of your friends together and scream them, because right now all you have is time but someday that time will run out. That’s the only thing you can be absolutely certain about. Think of all the things that are wrong with your life and then fix them, think of all the things that you love about your life be thankful you are blessed with them, think of all the things that hold you back and realize that you don’t need them, think of all the mistakes you have made in your life, make sure that you never repeat them because right now all you have is time but someday that time will run out. That’s the only thing you can be absolutely certain about. Name ten thousand reasons why you never wanna die, go and tell someone who might’ve forgotten try to list the endless reasons why it’s good to be alive and then just smile for awhile about them, soon the sun will rise and another day will come, soon enough the sun will set, another day will be gone and right now all you have is time, but someday that time will run out.”
— Paul Baribeau, Ten Things

“Even when I detach, I care. You can be separate from a thing and still care about it. If I wanted to detach completely, I would move my body away. I would stop the conversation midsentence. I would leave the bed. Instead, I hover over it for a second. I glance off in another direction. But I always glance back at you.”
— David Levithan, The Lover’s Dictionary

Sometimes you meet someone and even though you never liked brown eyes before, their eyes are your new favourite colour.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”
— 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

“I don’t want sex, I want the things that lead up to it. The slow kissing then the passionate kissing, then the pulling closer, the neck kisses, the grabbing, biting, heavy breathing, grinding, the pauses while you catch your breath, feeling each other. Oh my.
Then sex.”

“One day, whether you
are 14,
or 65
you will stumble upon
someone who will start
a fire in you that cannot die.
However, the saddest,
most awful truth
you will ever come to find––
is they are not always
with whom we spend our lives.”
— Beau Taplin, “The Awful Truth”

“Forget stardust—you are iron. Your blood is nothing but ferrous liquid. When you bleed, you reek of rust. It is iron that fills your heart and sits in your veins. And what is iron, really, unless it’s forged?
You are iron.
And you are strong.”

“If you really want something, you don’t stop for anyone or anything until you get it.”
— Blair Waldorf

“If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I bet they’d live a lot differently. When you look into infinity, you realize there are more important things than what people do all day.”
— Calvin and Hobbes

“All I wanted was to receive the love I gave.”
— 10 word story

“I like it when it rains hard. It sounds like white noise everywhere, which is like silence but not empty.”
— Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

“I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.”
— Pablo Neruda

“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.”
— Ursula K. Le Guin, The Lathe of Heaven

“For a woman whose life was so often defined by the choices made for her, the happiest ending imaginable is one she chooses for herself.”

“Nobody can avoid falling in love. They might want to deny it, but friendship is probably the most common form of love.”
— Stieg Larsson, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest

“The person who tries to keep everyone happy often ends up feeling the loneliest.”

“Healing is a choice. It’s not an easy one, because it takes work to turn around your habits, but keep making the choice and shifts will happen.”
— Yehuda Berg

“Life is too short for shitty sex and bad relationships. So go find someone who fucks you right and treats you how you deserve to be treated.”

“Who cares for your beauty if your tongue is ugly.”

“The moment you place someone on a pedestal they will look down upon you.”
— Charlie Shaw

“I need someone who
Sees the fire in my eyes and
wants to play with it.”
— Haiku by l.s.f.

“I didn’t wanna fall in love, not at all. But at some point you smiled, and, holy shit, I blew it”

“Don’t be afraid to be the one that love the most”

“Because I am not the type of
person someone falls in love with.”

Great quote at the end of Shadowlands that C.S. Lewis explains his take on love. He says, “Why love if losing hurt so much. I have no answers anymore, only the life I have lived. Twice in that life I’ve been given the choice. As a boy and as a man. The boy choose safety, the man chooses suffering.The pain now is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.”

“For true love is inexhaustible; the more you give, the more you have. And if you go to draw at the true fountainhead, the more water you draw, the more abundant is its flow”
–Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it.

“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender” – Emil Ludwig

“I’m the kind of person who would rather get my hopes up really high and watch them get dashed to pieces than wisely keep my expectations at bay and hope they are exceeded. This quality has made me a needy and theatrical friend, but has given me a spectacularly dramatic emotional life.”

Turning Abruptly from Friendship to Love: Sartre’s Love Letter to Simone de Beauvoir | Brain Pickings

My dear little girl

For a long time I’ve been wanting to write to you in the evening after one of those outings with friends that I will soon be describing in “A Defeat,” the kind when the world is ours. I wanted to bring you my conqueror’s joy and lay it at your feet, as they did in the Age of the Sun King. And then, tired out by all the shouting, I always simply went to bed. Today I’m doing it to feel the pleasure you don’t yet know, of turning abruptly from friendship to love, from strength to tenderness. Tonight I love you in a way that you have not known in me: I am neither worn down by travels nor wrapped up in the desire for your presence. I am mastering my love for you and turning it inwards as a constituent element of myself. This happens much more often than I admit to you, but seldom when I’m writing to you. Try to understand me: I love you while paying attention to external things. At Toulouse I simply loved you. Tonight I love you on a spring evening. I love you with the window open. You are mine, and things are mine, and my love alters the things around me and the things around me alter my love.

My dear little girl, as I’ve told you, what you’re lacking is friendship. But now is the time for more practical advice. Couldn’t you find a woman friend? How can Toulouse fail to contain one intelligent young woman worthy of you*? But you wouldn’t have to love her. Alas, you’re always ready to give your love, it’s the easiest thing to get from you. I’m not talking about your love for me, which is well beyond that, but you are lavish with little secondary loves, like that night in Thiviers when you loved that peasant walking downhill in the dark, whistling away, who turned out to be me. Get to know the feeling, free of tenderness, that comes from being two. It’s hard, because all friendship, even between two red-blooded men, has its moments of love. I have only to console my grieving friend to love him; it’s a feeling easily weakened and distorted. But you’re capable of it, and you must experience it. And so, despite your fleeting misanthropy, have you imagined what a lovely adventure it would be to search Toulouse for a woman who would be worthy of you and whom you wouldn’t be in love with? Don’t bother with the physical side or the social situation. And search honestly. And if you find nothing, turn Henri Pons, whom you scarcely love anymore, into a friend.


I love you with all my heart and soul.

via Turning Abruptly from Friendship to Love: Sartre’s Love Letter to Simone de Beauvoir | Brain Pickings.